My Daducation

Posts Tagged ‘public school’

When I was a kid I went to Kindergarten pretty much as a blank slate. I knew some letters and numbers, but I certainly wasn’t a speller and I couldn’t write my name. It seems however that I must have graduated to first grade relatively unscathed as I recall. I don’t remember my mother crying about my lack of Kindergarten knowledge. She usually cried about other things, probably having to do with my existence.

Anyway, fast forward to my senior year, where I have apparently passed the public school’s standard to graduate from high school and proceed to college. Not that the public school standard was that high in the first place. By then I could spell my name and do basic math, so I guess I was good to go. They handed me my diploma and asked me never to come back. I can’t say my Kindergarten experience impacted me in any way. Maturity was never my strong suit anyway.

So fast-forward again to my parenting years. As our first-born neared the age required for him to start school, my wife began to go through the enrollment process. She reports her findings pretty quickly.

“He needs to know ALL of his letters and ALL of his numbers,” she says.

“Really? That’s a lot of numbers. He’s only five,” I say.

“No, I mean one through ten, wiseguy,” she says, ” I doubt you even know all your numbers.”

” Hmmm. Does he know them?” I ask.

“He knows his numbers. We will have to go through his letters and see what we need to work on.”

“Uh OK,” I respond.

“He also needs to know how to write his name. And his address. And phone number. And his geometry. And cutting.”

“Ummm. OK. How about Linear Algebra?” I ask. “What exactly are they planning on teaching him when he gets there?”

“I’m still working on that,” she says.

So we put the five-year-old through his pre-Kindergarten paces, making sure he is well versed in the fine art of writing his name, address, phone number and numbers. He is also skilled in the art of naming his shapes (including the parallelogram) and cutting out shapes.  He appears to be ready to go. If anything I now know all that stuff as well. I thank my wife for her help.

So we decide to go to the enrollment open house at the school. It is a madhouse. There are people everywhere. Then I realize we are standing in line for the refreshments.

We make our way to the Kindergarten area, where we get the opportunity to speak with the teachers. We are given a stack of papers we are to fill out. They are in Spanish. We realize we are in the wrong line again.

Finally we get our chance to speak with the teachers. She asks her round of questions. Our answers seem to be correct. I know this because she hasn’t asked me to leave yet. We finally get to ask ours.

“What exactly will they be learning in Kindergarten?” I ask.

“Spanish,” she replies. And she is serious.

She chooses not to elaborate after this. We suddenly have an urge to be in another room at that moment. We thank her for her time and quickly make our escape.

Oh well. Home school, here we come.